When my friends suffer, I suffer. What does one do when a young man dies at forty? What does one do when someone says God's "plan" is flawed? I guess the problem is not knowing the plan. I don't even know if there IS a plan. Maybe we just all follow our own journeys and somehow come to the end and stand before the Judgment Seat. If there is a Judgment Seat.
A dear friend of mine recently learned of the death of his best friend from High School. He said to me, "I texted him this morning, and he was already dead." So many pious religious phrases come to my mind, but none of them seems adequate either to explain the death of this young man, or to assuage my friend's pain. My friend also said to me, "He was younger than me....I'm the one who should be dead...."
Yes, if I were God, I would have done things a bit differently. We all would. But, only God got the job; there can be only one almighty, omniscient ruler. And by the very fact of Him being God, and not any of us, we can't change anything. We can't criticize. We can ask questions. We can discuss amongst ourselves. But, what gets solved? All of our discussions and arguments will not resurrect those we love.
As I sat with my friend, I was acutely aware that I was in the midst of a sacred, pastoral moment. But, I was also acutely aware that I don't know shit. My initial thought was, if I had the theological/pastoral education that many people keep encouraging me to finish, I might be able to help. But then I thought maybe it would'nt even matter, because ultimately we're up against the inscrutable will of God. And I am not God. I didn't dare even try to assure my friend that God is real, or use any phrases like "we don't understand it now, but...." I just kept my mouth shut and listened. It's all I could do.
